


Bound By Madness: Filling The Void

by Calintha



Series: Bound By Madness [2]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Assassin - Freeform, Cicero being Cicero, Dark Brotherhood - Freeform, Dragons, F/M, Jester - Freeform, Lip reading, M/M, Madness, Mental Instability, MuteOC, Muteness, Original Character(s), Thieves Guild, skin stitching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22408585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calintha/pseuds/Calintha
Summary: Faith continues her journey, now searching for both her Lost Sibling Astrid and for new Siblings to join the Family she has joined. With Cicero often at her side and Bastian guiding the Family as their Listener, she must find a way to stretch the Night Mother's reach as far as it can go.The biggest obstacle in her way? The dragons that are spreading across Skyrim like a plague, bringing death and destruction. Hadn't anyone bothered to tell them yet? Death belongs under the control of the Brotherhood. Death should slip in and out without a sound. It most definitely should not come with a Shout like thunder and the flapping of wings while everyone scurries about like rats.Well, not unless the contract requests such things.
Relationships: Brynjolf (Elder Scrolls)/Original Male Character(s), Cicero (Elder Scrolls)/Original Character(s), Cicero (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Bound By Madness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612654
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	1. Shadowy Meetings

I watched quietly as Arnbjorn argued loudly with the men sitting at the table with him, Bastian's red-haired Bryn insisting that they knew nothing about the whereabouts of our Lost Sister. As inclined as I was to believe him, I couldn't take the chance that someone else in their group was hiding information from him. Although, I was relieved that at least he didn't know anything that would cost him his life.

Looking to the side, I watched as my Cicero fingered his dagger, eyes narrowed as he flicked his gaze from one thief to the next. As eager as he was to use his blade again, I couldn't help but hope that there was no betrayer amidst this broken family of thieves. I would rather he wet his blade with blood that wouldn't bring pain to my brother.

"Where is Mercer?" I heard our Brother snarl, his hands slamming down on the table before him as he stood, the scrape of his chair filling the chamber as I flinched from the sound.

"He's been dealing with some difficulties. Things haven't been so great around here, in case you haven't noticed," Bryn sighed, his fingers combing through his hair as he got to his feet. "Maven has gotten a bit... upset over some of the goings-on in the past few weeks and hasn't been hiring our services like she used to. Mercer has been visiting her in hopes of working out a new arrangement, but she doesn't hold much faith in our... capabilities these days."

_Maven? Isn't that the name from the note we found? Maven Blackbriar?_

"What note are you speaking of? What exactly is going on that brought you all here? All I have heard lately is that the Brotherhood was destroyed and yet also that it was the Brotherhood that killed the Emperor," the bald Imperial said, his eyes watching me closely as they had been since we arrived.

The room grew quiet as everyone slowly turned to look between the Imperial and myself, Arnbjorn and Cicero moving to stand beside me with sharp grins on their faces.

"Indeed, Cicero got to enjoy himself before the Listener completed the contract by giving the final blow! What fun it was for Cicero to get to have! And it was all because his sweet Faith allowed it, saying that Cicero deserved to have some... justice. Kind Faith, who let her Cicero wet his blade, but still remembering that he is not allowed to kill the contract, no no! So she made sure that the Listener did the deed and had her Cicero help her collect the trinkets she wanted to bring home," my Jester Assassin said cheerfully, his lips twisting up even higher as he brought a hand to rest on my hip before pulling me against his side.

_There was an attack on our Family before the Emperor's assassination was completed. We have recently been searching for signs of our Lost Sister, Arn's wife, who vanished before the attack happened. We are hopeful that she still lives, but even if she does not, we would see our Sister returned home with us. A note that we found suggested a Maven Blackbriar might know something about her whereabouts. I remembered that Bastian's Bryn had mentioned Blackbriar when we were here last time.  
_

"Who is Bastian?" A woman asked loudly, confusion filling their voice.

"Bastian is her brother, also known as Destin," Cicero said cheerfully, one hand waving about as if he was directing a song, beginning to hum softly as soon as he was done speaking.

"Ahah! So, Destin finally admitted he likes Bryn, huh? About time. Now we just need Bryn to admit the same thing," the bald man said with a grin.

"I already told you, the lad doesn't like me like that! We're just friends," the Red-haired male said, his cheeks growing pink even as I turned to look at him.

_Bastian would be sad to hear that. He seems to think you are more observant than this. As for me, I am sad to hear you only think of him as a friend, since I could have sworn his feelings were returned after seeing you flirt so much with him last time. If you are not interested in my Bastian, please do not lead him on the next time you see him._

"Don't worry, Bryn likes him. He's just stubborn and would rather wear his heart on his sleeve than hand it over to the one he likes!" The Imperial said, soon laughing at the red-head as the man's face grew even redder than before.

"What did she say?" Bryn asked, his voice rumbling in his chest as he crossed his arms.

"Just that hearing you say you don't like him would make Destin sad and if you aren't interested in him, then you should stop flirting so much," the man said, turning to me with a quick wink before looking back to Brynjolf. "Cause if you don't, she'll have to punish you for leading the boy on. Seems he's rather got his hopes up about you."

"Ahem, I know you're having fun with this but can we get back to business. Have you heard anything about Astrid? Anything at all? Or do you have a way to get us a meeting with Maven? I would like to get my... my wife back. One way or another... I just want her back with me, safe in my arms again. Please," my Brother said, his voice the quietest I had ever heard it as he stood with his head bowed down in grief.

Walking over to him, I slowly wrapped my arms around him from behind.

_We'll get her back, my Brother. I promise. Even if we have to kill every last person who tries to stand between us and her, we will bring her home again._


	2. Proving Our Worth

We'd had to wait until later the next day to meet with Mercer, the man scowling as soon as he heard that Destin's sister was among those waiting to see him. It wasn't until I finally relented and spilled my old name of Valencia that he paused, giving me a long look before he began asking questions that only a member of the Imperial City's Thieves Guild would be able to answer. Even if I had been absent from the guild for several years, I was able to answer enough questions that the man sat back and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Prove yourself to me, complete a few jobs for the Guild and help bring us back into Maven's good graces, then I'll see to it you have a meeting with her. But until you do that for us, I can't promise anything. Besides, it's common courtesy to offer a favor when asking one, even amongst thieves and assassin. Or so I had always believed. Was I mistaken?" Mercer spoke, a venomous grin on his lips as he gazed steadily at me.

_ Of course. I have not forgotten how things work in the Guild, simply because I have been absent from it for so long. But you must promise the safety of my Brothers while I see to these jobs of yours. I will not have them tossed out into the streets while I see to keeping my end of the deal. _

I watched as the man nodded his head once the bald Imperial translated my words to him, standing and walking to the back of the room where my Cicero and our Brother waited, lowering my head as a scowl stretched my lips. The man had left a bad taste in my mouth, his attitude at odds with the rundown Guild that haunted this town's sewers.

_ And if you betray me, even Sithis himself will not be able to stay my blade. _

I watched a vicious smirk spread across my Cicero's lips as he danced forward to meet me halfway.

"Do not worry, sweet Faith! Cicero will make sure that he and his Brother remain safe! Even if he must slice someone's throat to ensure they are well and waiting for her when his Faith returns for her Cicero! And her Brother, of course," he fluttered his eyes at me as his smile eased into a more playful one.

Standing close to my Cicero, I made sure I was at an angle only he could see my lips from as I kept my head tilted down slightly and peered up at him through my lashes. It wouldn't do for anyone else to see what I had to say.

_ I trust you, my love. It's that man that has me feeling the need to be cautious. He doesn't act like one who's Guild is laying in ruins around his feet. He doesn't seem upset about the ill-luck they are having, not the way a Guild leader should be upset. I don't trust him. Until I return, I want you two keeping an eye out for each other. Vellius always taught me, if the Guild leader doesn't share the same troubles as the members of the Guild, then it is likely they have their fingers slipping into someone else's pockets. _

Leaning my head against his chest, I gave a tired sigh, not wanting to think about this issue anymore. This guild's problems were not our own and my focus should be only on what had to be done to get the meeting with Maven Blackbriar so that we could move forward in our search. And yet, I couldn't help moving my lips one more time, regardless that nobody could see my final words before I moved away to prepare for the job I was being given.

_ The question then becomes... who's pockets do his fingers wander into? _

* * *

I could feel Amicus' breath against my ear as we waited in the shadows for the guard to pass by, my heart hammering with excitement as if it echoed each footstep they took. A warm hand pressed gently against my back as we were finally able to move further down the hallway. Smiling at the touch, I hurried as quickly as I could without making a sound, pausing only when I felt one of the floorboards begin to shift under my foot so that I could place my foot on a more sturdy board before moving forward again.

I slipped through a doorway just in time to avoid catching the returning guard's eyes, moving deeper into the shadows as the footsteps came closer. I ducked down behind a barrel as the guard's shadow passed through the room, the man walking by as he barely paused to even peek through the doorway. Moments later, he was gone again, heading further down the hall to meet up with another guard before beginning the cycle again. The same cycle Amicus had watched him perform several times before he'd slipped behind where I had been waiting outside as the sun had slowly sunk beneath the distant mountains.

_ This is our chance, Amicus. We should have just enough time to get to the stairs before he heads back, once he passes us again. Then we can head to the vault and get the money, just like they said we need to. After that, we are gone from here. No more sneaking down dingy hallways, no more swimming through water, and best of all... no more bees! Stupid, stinging, nasty bees! I don't care how much honey they make, it hurts when they sting you! _

I rubbed at a sore spot on my side, wincing as the tender flesh reminded me why touching was a bad idea. A quiet whisper from Amicus reminded me we would still need to escape successfully once we had the money.

_ Okay, maybe one more time swimming through the water, but then we are staying on dry land for a while... Aedra, if I have to swim through one more lake or river without getting to sit by a fire on the other side of it, I'm gonna scream... _


	3. Slipping My Mind

Warm hands ran up and down my arms as I shivered in front of the fireplace, my hands held out toward the burning logs in an attempt to bring my fingers to a temperature somewhere above freezing. I'd completed yet another job for the Guild with the promise that we would be able to finally meet up with Maven Blackbriar by the end of the week.

The problem was that spending so much time swimming through icy water and sneaking about in the rain had taken its toll on me and I would likely have to spend most of the remaining days this week resting in bed. And that was if I was able to get my hands on a potion to help alleviate the oncoming illness. I couldn't even begin to explain how much I missed Babette's potions right now, how quick she was to offer what was needed to see her Siblings healthy and capable in as short a time as possible.

"Hush, sweetness. Cicero will take care of you until our Brother is back with the potion. Cicero is sure that something can be found to help. Even if the mutt has to run all the way back Home to get something from the Unchild," my Jester Assassin whispered softly, his fingers combing through my hair as he leaned forward, his chest warm against my side as I curled against him.

_ You shouldn't be so close to me, my Cicero. What if you end up sick as well? Who here can be trusted to take care of us if that happens? _

"Why, Amicus will watch over us until our Brother returns if that should happen, of course! After all, he does not get sick like us, right?" He said, peering down into my face with a grin. "There has to be some advantage to being as he is."

Pressing his lips against my forehead, he went back to his finger combing of my hair, my eyes slowly slipping closed as I heard Amicus moving about the room behind me. My Cicero was right, as our Amicus wouldn't allow anything to happen to us while he kept a watch over us.

I was glad that my Assassin hadn't left my side as my Jester had, but I couldn't be upset that Ellery had found his way back into the world properly again. Now he was seen and heard, as he should have been all these years, able to share his laughter with the world once more. Although, at times I still felt confused about the how and why of it, while at others it seemed to almost make perfect sense before slipping away again.

I wonder what Ellery was up to while we were gone. Was he praying at our Mother's feet as he had been when we had returned from the Emperor's ship? Or maybe he was practicing his acts in hopes of getting to perform in the nearby town of Dawnstar, likely in preparation for the larger cities that Skyrim had to offer. Maybe we should try and find the time to return home to check on him, as well as our Bastian and the rest of the Family. But that would have to wait until after we found our Lost Sister.

Perhaps our Wolf Brother would bring back news if he had actually gone back to get potions from Babette. And if not, then maybe he would be willing to go with us for a visit?

_ I miss our Family. Our treasures... _

_ "I do too, Faith. I miss our Ellery. It is strange these days, to not have him with us after so many years of never being far apart," Amicus whispered as he moved about the room, a flash of dark red hair passing by before my eyes closed one last time before I slipped into another dream. "I wish..." _

* * *

The bitter taste of the potion on my tongue, even this long after having taken it, told me it had not been one of Babette's potions. But at least our Brother had returned quicker than expected, most of the time he'd been gone having been spent searching out the ingredients for the potion itself to be made.

It seems that the local apothecary had insisted that for maximum effectiveness, it would be best to have the freshest ingredients for the potion. Not a complete lie, but also not fully the truth, as some ingredients worked best when dried and powdered, while only certain ones were best-used freshly picked. Of course, our Brother didn't know the difference, but Babette had spent so much time talking about such things around me that some things had finally started to stick.

I might never become an accomplished alchemist, but at least I was starting to learn a few things here and there.

"You should be resting, sweetness. The potion won't work best if you aren't allowing it to take full effect. Go back to bed, my heart. There is nothing that needs doing badly enough that it can't wait until you are fully well again," I heard the words whispered from behind me as gentle fingers brushed against the side of my face before carefully gathering my hair behind my ear, lips pressing against my cheek as I began to turn my head.

_ I know, my Cicero. I just wanted to write things down. So much has happened, I don't want to chance losing it if I should forget something. This way I can read it and maybe it will help me remember. But even if I don't, at least it will be written down so that I can know it happened. _

"Oh? Sweet Faith has been writing in her journal? Does she mind if her Cicero reads what she's written inside? Oh, but he understands if she says no! He knows how personal a journal can be, so if she requests it, Cicero will not ask to read her journals again! He just... wonders sometimes about the things she writes," he asked excitedly before lowering his voice, ending in a soft mumble.

Closing the journal carefully, having made sure the ink had dried first, I turned the rest of the way to look up at my Jester Assassin with the book held up against my chest. Gazing into his honey-brown eyes, I felt like I was searching for something that I couldn't name. Finally, just as he began turning away with resignation visible in his posture, I moved to hold out the journal I wrote so much inside of recently.

_ I don't remember everything that is written in here. And it's not organized as well as most people's journals would be. I often forget the dates and the best I can do is try and keep things in order of what happened first and then what happened after that. But it's not always that easy and I can't always explain things if something confuses you, so if I don't remember it I won't be able to help. But if you want to ask about something, you can. I'll try and answer if I recall enough of it to explain... _

Realizing I was rambling nervously, I closed my mouth and waited there, still holding out the journal. This wasn't like sharing a few pages of information on Amicus and Ellery. Letting him read this would be allowing him to read about all the thoughts, feelings, ideas, and events that I had written down since starting this journal. Some of it was similar to the things he had already read, yes, but expanded upon and my own personal feelings and thoughts added to it.

If he read the whole thing, he would read about my deepest thoughts and feelings concerning him, from the day we met to the things I had just written today. I had written about him often inside my journal, knowing that if ever I began to forget him I would want a way to remind myself of who this amazing man was and how much he meant to me. How much I had come to need him.

Feeling the journal slowly slip from my fingers, I focused once more on the man standing before me, his eyes wide as he looked back at me.

"Cicero will treasure his dearest Faith's writings and treat this journal with the utmost respect. He thanks her for showing him so much trust, that she allows him to tread gently into her mind and promises that he  _ will  _ be gentle. Cicero knows how much power the written thoughts can have and he will not abuse that power she is giving him," he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead against my own as he closed his eyes. "I will not make you regret this."


	4. Dreams And Memories

I looked around the area, bewildered at what I saw. I'd been inside, hadn't I? And even though the weather wasn't exactly warm, it hadn't been raining this badly in recent days, so where had the storm come from? Besides, this area didn't look anything like Riften or its surroundings, although it didn't help that it was dark from the heavy clouds that covered the sky. The rain pouring down and turning the road into mud did nothing to help.

It was the sound of muffled laughter that caused me to turn my head in shock, as I would never forget that particular sound no matter how long I lived for. Seeing a flash of purple and red from the corner of my eyes, I turned back the other way, seeing a familiar figure step up beside me.

"Ahh, so this is where it happened, is it? What perfectly wretched weather to meet him in," he cackled as he looked down the road to the stranded cart.

_ What is this? Why are we here? This has already happened, so why am I seeing it again? _

"Oh, don't worry. You'll understand soon enough. Or not! Who knows how that head of yours will behave, after all!" He chuckled as he turned to walk down the road, his eyes moving to follow the movements around him even as I frowned at how the rain seemed to avoid landing on him.

Meanwhile, I was becoming more and more drenched as I began following him, my eyes flickering to see the black and gold of one jester's outfit before moving further down the road to barely make out the red and black of the man pacing beside the cart. As we got closer, I could feel my heart begin to pound, remembering how this had been the day it had truly all started for me. This had been when I had met the first person to join Ellery and Amicus as my most treasured people, as well as eventually leading me to the rest of those I would come to call treasure.

Suddenly, a shout rang through the wet air, my head jerking back as I flinched somewhat from the sound.

"Damnedest wagon wheel!" I slowed for a moment as I watched the Cicero who was not yet mine kick at the wooden wheel laying upon the ground before stomping over to lean against the wagon itself.

I knew that the three travelers were coming closer, but I couldn't take my eyes off the man in front of me, finally stopping my movement when I was only a few feet away from him. Obviously he didn't see me as he had been complaining loudly.

"Cicero is sorry about the horrible weather here, Mother. Cyrodiil is much more pleasant, but does not have any Family remaining there for us to seek. If the foul farmer Loreius would just fix Cicero's wheel, he would have you on the way Home already! But no, the man refuses to help! Cicero," he paused for a moment when he finally noticed the movement down the road, my eyes taking in all the expressions his face took before he began speaking again in a softer voice. "Cicero worries that the man will begin whispering to the guards soon, Mother. He noticed the way the man spoke last time Cicero asked for help."

It was sad to hear him speaking in that particular lilting voice he used when he was closest to breaking down, watching as his hands came up to tug at his hair before he turned to begin checking the tarp that kept Mother safe from the rain. I could see how tense he became as he waited for the me who was not  _ me _ yet to come closer before he spoke.

"Does the stranger plan to keep staring at poor, drenched Cicero?" He grumbled as he tugged on one of the ropes holding the tarp down, a gust of wind pulling at the well-oiled cloth.

From there, I watched as a familiar scene played out before me, although this time I watched closely my dear Jester Assassin, taking in the looks he gave me and the way he moved. And when the past me finally wandered up to the farm to speak with Loreius, I stayed behind and listened as he spoke once more.

"Mother... Could this be? Or is Cicero imagining things again? Ahh, he must be imagining it, right Mother? After all, to see her of all people after this many years... No, it couldn't be Cicero's little thief, not here in Skyrim of all places," he mumbled, shaking his head as his hand clenched at the fabric over his chest.

"Hah! Lookit that! He remembered you, even if he denied it! Now I can see why he didn't just kill you right off the bat!" I jumped at the voice from behind me, turning to look at Sheogorath as I gasped, trying to catch my breath again.

_ How could he remember me? This is the first time we met! Stop talking nonsense! _

"You know, if anyone else dared to speak to me like that, I would gut them and make them eat their own entrails. It's a good thing I like you, Juni! But! But," he growled before turning to me with a sharp smile, "if you speak to me like that again, I might have to think up a punishment that won't kill you. You might be my favorite toy right now, but that doesn't mean I'll let you be rude to me without some form of consequence."

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I stared back at the man with wide eyes. It was far too easy to forget that this man was a Daedric Prince when he spoke and acted so casual around me.

_ I'm sorry. I'll behave. _

"That's better. Now pay attention! The best parts are coming up! Oh, this shall be a grand viewing that our little jester has allowed us to watch!" He shouted, taking a step forward as he turned his head to look up the road toward the farm.

My own eyes followed for only a moment before turning back to focus on Cicero, watching how the man had apparently been pacing for some time now, a look of worry battling with hope as he muttered to himself softly. I could tell the moment he saw the past me coming back from dealing with Loreius, his eyes growing wide as he stopped his movement. I barely bothered glancing over to see the rain washing away the blood from Past Me's skin, my eyes returning quickly to take in the shuddering breath that ran past this Cicero's lips as he stared at the sight.

"Cicero has a lamp he can light for the interesting stranger to work with. Perhaps she can tell Cicero how she convinced Loreius to give her his tools while she works?" The wicked smile that spread across his face had Past Ellery cackling as the Jester Assassin spoke to Past Me.

_ Sheogorath, please, tell me why we are here. Why are we watching what already happened? _

"Silly Juni! Didn't you hear me? You should get better at listening to people. Ah! Looks like it's over here," he chuckled again as the world began growing darker. "What a shame, I was looking forward to seeing that dance you told me about! But dreams always did tend to be fleeting things, and memories even more so."

I felt my eyes close, a hand gently brushing against my face.

"Sweetling, wake up. It's time to get ready. We have a meeting to attend," the words were whispered softly, echoing strangely in my head as the world suddenly dropped from around me.


	5. A Momentary Interruption

I hadn't been able to focus since I woke up, images and words from the dream - _ just a dream or something more? _ \- haunting me as we prepared for the meeting that was to take place today. Cicero had been giving me odd looks for the past several minutes as he sat nearby, waiting for me to finish the last of my food, the eggs having grown cold some time ago even if I continued to take small bites.

"Does sweet Faith wish to speak with her Cicero about whatever is troubling her today?" He suddenly spoke, his fingers trailing through my hair before he tucked it behind my ear, leaning forward to peer at my face.

Looking into his eyes, I sat my spoon down and sighed, biting my lip before parting my lips, only to stop and sigh again. This happened several times before I finally managed to form my lips into the words that had been circling about my head all morning.

_ Cicero, my Cicero, I had a dream last night about the past... Actually, about the evening we first met, back on the road outside of Loreius' farm. Do you remember? The rain from the storm turning the road into mud and your wheel laying on the ground nearby? _

"Of course Cicero remembers! Cicero had thought he was imagining things, seeing his pretty little thief again after so long! But Cicero is glad it wasn't his imagination tricking him again and he got to see her again. As he told his sweet Faith before, he would have waited for much longer to see her again, but he is glad that she returned to him when she did. Cicero needed his pretty Faith to keep him from falling further into the darkness and becoming lost," he said, wrapping his arms around me, even as I grew still from his words.

"Hey, you two! Are you ready to go yet? I don't think these guys are going to wait much longer for us before they leave for the meeting, with or without us!" Arnbjorn shouted from the doorway, his voice startling me as I jumped up from the chair, my Jester Assassin's eyes following me as his arms lowered to his side.

"Faith and his Cicero will be ready soon. Dearest Faith just needs to change into her leathers before we go, right sweetness?" He said softly, standing himself as he gathered the dishes from the small table.

_ Yes, yes, my leathers! I finished the repairs last night, so they should be okay to wear to the meeting today! I even managed to add something new to them! _

I grabbed the pile of neatly folded leather and hurried behind the wooden privacy screen that had been moved into a corner of the room, hurriedly changing as I listened to the two men bicker playfully with each other. It was good to hear them getting along so much better than they had even a mere week ago, something I had for a time wondered if it would ever happen with these two.

Stepping out from behind the screen, I walked over and stuffed the clothing I'd been wearing into the basket to join the other clothing in need of washing. Turning, I grinned eagerly at the two men as they turned toward me, all of us more than ready to get this meeting out of the way. What I didn't expect was the way that Cicero froze in place for a moment before coming and turning me around to stare at my back, where a pattern was stitched out in a mix of faded gold and void black threads.

"Faith used the thread to do this?" He whispered softly, his hands trembling ever so faintly as they rested on my shoulders before I turned to look up into his eyes.

_ I... I'm sorry, Cicero. I thought you would like it, that we could put something similar on something of yours. I guess I should have asked before I- _

"No, no, Cicero just didn't expect such a thing. He didn't even notice Faith working on this," he said as he moved behind me again and trailed his fingertips over the small flock of crows circling each other, their golden eyes staring out from the black stitchwork. "When did his darling heart have time to work on this? Cicero is sure she was far too busy to make so many stitches without him seeing her."

Feeling my lips slowly pull up into a smile, I turned my head to peek at him as Amicus gave a soft laugh from the shadows.

_ "Our Cicero might not care to hear that you were slipping out of bed while he slept so you could work on the patterns. It might be best not to tell him just yet, our sweet Faith," _ his whispered words came once the laughter had died down.

_ I'll tell you another time, my love. For now, we have a meeting to attend. After all, this is our chance to find out if this Maven knows where our Lost Sister is. _


	6. Unfavorable Favors

"I don't do favors without getting something in return. What will you do for me in return for an answer to your questions?" The dark-hair female said, her face stern as she looked between us before turning her focus to Mercer as he stood to the side.

"Don't look at me. I simply agreed to bring them to a meeting with you. Their questions are strictly their own business," the man said, holding up his hands as he made it clear that we were not anything more than acquaintances.

"Pity. I was hoping they... well, at least the girl, were new members of the guild. She knows how to get a job done, something you need in the ranks again. She also seems to know when to hold her tongue," she said, her arms crossed over her chest as she glanced between Mercer and I.

"That's simply because she's a mute. Trust me, when she wants to, she has plenty to 'say' about things," the man said with a frown. "Well, I'll leave this to you and them. I have work to do."

With that, Mercer walked over to a chair and sat down, bringing out a book that he began taking notes in as he read from the papers he pulled from his satchel. Shaking my head at his easy dismissal, I turned to the female Nord and nodded politely to her.

_ We are searching for our Lost Sister, Astrid. We have reason to believe that you might know of her whereabouts. If you have such information, we are willing to trade for it if that is what you require. Simply tell us what you desire and we can work out an agreement from there, I am sure. _

Once Cicero spoke aloud what I had said, the woman gave a grin that had me feeling like I had just looked in the jaws of a slaughterfish. A rather large slaughterfish that knew how to wait and plan out its attack.

"Oh, I'm sure that we can come to an arrangement that is... agreeable to all parties involved."

* * *

"Cicero thinks that Faith was a bit... foolish to agree to that woman's demands," my Cicero whispered as he walked beside me, the fingers of one gloved hand tightening slightly as he gripped my own hand.

_ She knows something about Astrid, whether it is her location or something else. We can't afford to let this chance slip from our grasp. It might be the only lead we ever get to our Sister's location. I can't just ignore it and hope for another chance somewhere else, so what would you have me do, my Cicero? We are lucky she was willing to agree to only this much of her original demands. She refused to accept anything less than this. I'm just glad that it is as simple as sabotage and not something more dangerous than that. _

"Such a job is beneath you, my Faith. If it was an assassination, then it would be in line with the work our Family does. But sabotage? What would Mother say?" My Jester Assassin said with a scoff, seemingly forgetting that I had been a thief long before I joined the Family he belonged to.

_ Mother would likely say to do whatever was needed to reunite her Family, to strengthen our ranks so that we could spread our influence across all of Tamriel once again. But beyond that, I would ask that you trust me to do this for our Family. After all, I would do even more than this if it was you who was lost. _

I had stopped at this point and stood facing my Cicero, one hand raising to rest gently against his cheek as his gold-flecked eyes stared into my own. With a shuddering sigh, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine before whispering softly to me.

"Cicero trusts his heart to do what she must. He just asks that she is careful. Cicero can't afford to lose her, not again. He's not sure if he can keep going if something happens to her. After all, last time, Cicero nearly broke apart. He's not sure if he can hold himself together if there was no chance of her being there for him afterward. Please, don't take any chances and if the choice comes down to it, do whatever you must to survive and come back to me."

_ I will always return to you, my Cicero, even if I must send every soul between us into the Void to find you again. I love you and nothing will change that, no matter how bloody my hands must become to stay by your side. _

May our Father have mercy upon me, for I have a feeling that no other deity out there will by the time my life comes to an end.

* * *

_ Cicero, have I mentioned to you how much I loath spiders? _

"Then Cicero shall simply have to kill them all for his sweetness!" His cackling laughter filled the echoing chamber we had stepped into after following the tunnel, his smile growing as he looked viciously at the spiders that lowered themselves from the web-covered ceiling above us. "Oh, what fun shall be had!"

Not even hiding my shudder as I watched their legs twitch as they reached for the dancing Jester Assassin, I turned toward one of the monstrously large skeevers that also seemed to populate the tunnels. What a horrid mix of creatures to have infesting the maze of tunnels and chambers hidden beneath the Honningbrew Meadery. At least there were fewer spiders than skeevers, but the skeevers here were not exactly the usual breed of rodents I'd dealt with in the past.

I just hoped the handful of Cure Disease potions I had picked up would be enough, thankful that the shopkeep hadn't noticed me snagging a couple more than I had actually paid for. It was always a good way to avoid suspicion since few would believe that a paying customer was a thief.

"Die, die, die!" I heard him shouting as he plunged his dagger into the spiders' bodies over and over again.

Such dreadful creatures, spiders. For once, I was more than happy to see my beloved putting his dagger to work without feeling regret for the deaths it brought.


	7. The Moment When

Limping slowly, I made my way out of the tunnels, my Jester Assassin beside me as he tried to hide a wince every few steps. Stupid spiders... and don't even get me started on that crazy mage that had been living down in the tunnels! How the heck did someone not notice something like that? I mean, there had to be clues to his presence, right?

"Faith must have interesting things on her mind, what with the faces she has been making for the past several minutes," my Cicero said with a pained chuckle, giving a gentle squeeze with the arm he'd wrapped around me earlier.

Shaking my head, I gave him a quick smile and kept walking beside him, turning my head just enough for him to get a clear view of my lips as they formed the shapes of the words I wanted to speak.

_ Nothing important, my love. Let's just get back to the guild so we can heal up before we meet with that woman again. We did her deed for her and even slew a bunch of nasty things before poisoning the cask as she asked. I think we deserve a chance to see how our Wolfish Brother is doing. _

"Yes, some rest to heal and converse. And perhaps some time for a dance or two?" His lips pressed quickly to my cheek before he pulled away and smiled at me, his free hand lowering to his side as he stepped on some uneven ground and winced with pain.

_ After we are healed, yes, I believe we can spare some time for at least one dance. After all, we have waited plenty for everyone else around here. I'm sure they won't begrudge us a few minutes to ourselves. _

The delighted smile on his face at my answer made me wish I could spend the rest of forever simply indulging my beloved Cicero. However, our Family needed us too much to give in to such desires, no matter how much I wanted to. Family should always come first and Mother needed us all too much. Perhaps someday, though, when we were stronger. Maybe then she would allow...

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I pressed a quick kiss to my Cicero's cheek and tried to move so that he walked on the smoothest parts of the path as we continued making our way out of the tunnel. With a smile, I mouthed the next words to myself as I looked at the path ahead of us.

_ I love you so much, my Jester Assassin. So very much. _

* * *

"What took you so long? I received news of the Honningbrew Meadery's change of hands yesterday and yet you would leave me waiting? I had thought you to be better than this," the bossy woman said, her arms crossed as she looked upon my Cicero and I with a scowl.

"Cicero assures the... lady Black-Briar that his Faith is far more capable than anyone else suspects she is, but he also is insistent that wounds be seen to after running across so many nasty creatures in the tunnels to do the requested tasks set," he said with a frown of his own, his hand brushing gently against my side where a particularly nasty bite had left subtle scarring behind after the potion had done its business. "Cicero believed that sweet Faith deserved some rest to heal from her wounds while he kept watch over her. Would the lady really tell Cicero otherwise after getting what she wanted?"

With those words, he pulled the letter we'd found from the pouch at his hip and thrust it toward the female with his eyes watching her movements for any sign of betrayal. Placing my hand on his arm, I slowly grabbed the parchment from his hands and walked toward the woman, holding it out to her with a small nod. After all, we should be polite to her. At least, so long as she still held the knowledge we sought from her.

"Ahh, I see. Unfortunate, but that  _ is  _ why you were hired. To do the dirty work. I would think killing things came naturally to people from... your line of work. Now, let us see what we have here," she said as she slowly opened the letter and began reading the notes, the scowl on her face morphing into a frown before looking back over at me. "You might want to take this to Mercer. I have a feeling he will want to deal with this quickly before things... escalate any further."

"Ahh, but that is Thieve's Guild business and sweet Faith is here on Brotherhood business, yes? You promised us information if we did your errand, and so we did! We wish for what we are owed now and you  _ will  _ be keeping your  _ promise  _ to my sweetness. Won't you?" The Jester Assassin said, his voice moving from a lilting tone to a deep growl by the end of his words, the hand I placed on his shoulder doing little to calm him this time.

"Very well. I had a feeling you would be wanting the information the moment you finished. Honestly, I was more shocked that you waited a day for that reason alone than anything else," the woman said as she pulled a small note from a pocket, reaching out before pulling her hand back for a moment as she met my gaze. "Astrid, she was a useful connection to have. But more than that, she was... don't judge her too harshly for what she did."

With those words, she shoved both the note and letter into my hands and turned away, leaving the room as she threw one last comment over her shoulder.

"Do make sure that letter gets to the right hands, won't you. I'm a busy woman after all and have no time for such errands."

I reached out and grabbed my Cicero's hand as he began to bristle in agitation, my other hand slowly bringing the note up as I used a finger to flip it open. Looking down at the words that barely covered a small section of the torn parchment, I tugged my Cicero close to me before pulling him into a hug.

_ She's alive, my Cicero! Our Sister is alive! We must get our Wolf Brother and retrieve her! Oh, Arn will be so happy for the news! So happy, indeed! Come, we can drop off the letter when we go fetch our Brother! _

With a silent laugh, I turned and began pulling my Jester Assassin behind me, the papers both clenched tightly in my other hand as I gave a small dance before running toward the door leading outside.


	8. The Darkness Begins

We trudged down the partially frozen hillside, Arn having led the way once the horse had to be left behind at the nearest stable, once we knew of the treacherous footing to come. It was rather ironic that the place we were now going was already so familiar to the man, something that had never even crossed our minds as someplace she might go after having somehow escaped the Emperor's soldiers. Or rather, whatever cell they'd been holding her in.

No matter how my feet slid about on the icy terrain, I dared not slow down further than I already had, able to see clearly just how much our Arn was barely restraining himself from charging ahead without us. I honestly couldn't blame him, remembering how much I'd pushed myself not so very long ago to reach my Cicero when he'd needed help. I could still recall the dread I'd felt at seeing so much blood spilled both in and outside of the Dawnstar Sanctuary.

Giving a soft shudder at the memories, I tightened my fingers slightly around the hand I held, glancing at the man beside me as if to remind myself he was still here. That he hadn't died and left me behind in a world where all I had to look forward to was making sure Mother and Father were satisfied with what I did so that I could someday join my Jester Assassin in the Void.

_What exactly is the Void, anyhow? Oh, but does it really matter, so long as I have my Cicero with me? I wonder if I could still make my stitches. Oh, would Ellery still need new hats made? Would we be-_

"There! Just on the other side of the water there! That's where she is being kept! Hurry!" Shouted our Brother with a growl as he gave up holding back and surged ahead, leaping from one piece of ice to another as he made his way toward the worn down building that could barely be called a cabin.

Shaking myself from my thoughts, I noticed the worried look my Jester Assassin was giving me, smiling at him before moving forward with a gentle tug on his hand. We had a sibling to bring home!

_Come, let us make sure she's okay!_

I patted his shoulder with my free hand when I saw his lips turn down into a scowl, understanding that he didn't like the woman, but knowing that the Family would need her in the weeks and months to come. My hand on his shoulder tightened when I felt my foot begin to slip on the ice, halting until I regained my footing. Looking up again from where my gaze had shot to the ground below me, I was met with golden-brown eyes staring worriedly at me, his hands shifting to grasp my arms gently.

"Faith should watch her step instead of worrying about her Cicero. Cicero will be fine so long as his sweetness is okay. Thus, Faith must take more care of herself and not lose her footing so easily! How can someone so graceful be so clumsy?" He spoke softly as laughter began to finally rumble in his chest with the last few words, one hand coming up to trace its way along my jaw.

_Ah, but I can't help losing my way, my dearest Cicero. Such things are of no matter when my feet always wish to wander to your side instead of following the path before me._

I grinned in hopes that my words would lighten his mood some more before having to confront whatever seen would be waiting for us inside the cabin. Seeing the lingering darkness in his mood lift, I turned carefully and grabbed his hand as I once more began leading the way to the cabin.

"Faith needn't worry about losing her way. So long as Cicero is with her, he will keep her safe until she finds a pathway again. Besides, Cicero always knows where he is going! Stay with Cicero and sweet Faith need never fear being lost again, even if she can't see the path he takes. His feet will not lead them astray!" He whispered softly from beside me, his hand giving a gentle squeeze before he looked at the water we would need to cross and frowned. "Although, Cicero would prefer if it didn't mean crossing lakes and rivers."

Looking pointedly at the boat that nestled against the rocky bank of the small island, he grumbled once more.

"Do they think a boat is less conspicuous than an actual bridge? And what if the boat sinks? Madness, I tell you. Madness!" Sighing, he looked at me and shrugged before turning back to frown at the half-frozen waters between us and the island. "Cicero is not particularly fond of water..."

* * *

Nibbling at the piece of slightly stale bread, I glanced again at the female bosmer tending to what remained of the wounds our Sister had suffered from during her stay in the prison she'd been dumped in after they'd captured her. The scars that now ran across her arms hinted at what still hid beneath the layers of threadbare blankets the mer had used in an attempt to keep the female from freezing.

Arnbjorn had refused to leave his wife's side, having rushed over to her the moment the bosmer had lowered her blade, the bow slung over her shoulder useless in such close quarters. Her soft pink hair seemed to almost shimmer in the firelight, pieces of broken furniture crackling as they burned away in the hearth. Astrid had yet to say a word, having turned her face away as tears left tracks in the dirt on her face.

"Cicero is not sure if he understands what Aurora is saying. The little mer claims she escaped with Astrid and instead of leaving the woman behind, she brought her here and tended to her? And has stayed here surviving off foraged roots, stolen food, and what she could hunt for them? Why? Did she promise something she no longer has the authority to give?" My Jester Assassin paced as his hands wove agitatedly through the air in front of him before coming up to tangle themselves in his hair, knocking his cap askew.

Standing up, I placed the bread down on the chair I had been sitting on and moved to wrap my arms around the man, forcing him to be still as I held him, waiting until his hands lowered from his hair and I felt his arms slowly move to hold me close.

"Faith is right, Cicero should quiet himself and give the mer a chance to respond to Cicero's concerns. But be warned that if she fails to satisfy Cicero's curiosity, he knows that Faith will understand the need to... cover their tracks," he said, not taking his eyes off the girl even as he rested his cheek against my temple before turning to press his lips against the skin. "Faith is far more understanding of his ways than Cicero ever thought she would be after... ahh, but we need not speak of such things. The past is gone and the future is yet to come! We must work hard to build a world we shall thrive in rather than simply exist! So speak, little one, and with any luck, you will also survive for one more day."

The sudden laughter that came from the small bosmer was unexpected and had both Cicero and myself placing our hands on our daggers before her following words had us relaxing our grips, a strained smile growing on my lips even as a frown appeared on my Cicero's.

"I saved her because I knew someone would come for her, sooner or later. And here you are. A bit later than I 'd expected, but finally here," the female said, her eyes darting quickly between the three of us as she shifted her hand away from where her own blade rested on her hip. "I want revenge and I need the Brotherhood's help to achieve it. After all, if you could kill the Emperor and live to escape, then killing my target shouldn't be impossible for you. Difficult maybe, but not impossible."

"And who does sneaky Aurora wish the Brotherhood to kill?" My Jester Assassin said, his voice lilting slightly as he gently grabbed me and began a slow dance about the room as a smile formed upon his face. "Of course, Cicero also wonders why the little one thinks she will survive to know if they take her contract or not."

"Because the 'sneaky little one' knows the Brotherhood lost members and needs to replenish their numbers. Take my contract and you'll have one less new member to seek out."


	9. To Whisper

I shuffled in place as I waited for Cicero to join me next to the door, raising my eyes from the ground only when he came over and placed his hand gently under my chin, lifting slowly until I met his eyes.

"Faith does not need to worry so. Cicero is not upset with her. He simply wants to ensure that she doesn't do something she might regret later. The sneaky little one shall wait here with our Siblings until we return with the Listener. After all, as Listener it is he who can tell us if Mother accepts the Bosmer's contract or not. And it is he who must decide if she will become one of us. It is not our place to make those decisions for him. We were meant to find new family, yes, but he is the leader and we must respect that by giving him the final say before we bring anyone home with us," he whispered softly, a sad smile on his face.

_ You are right, my Cicero. I'm sorry. I guess I simply got too excited at the idea of bringing a new Sibling home to Mother. I... I didn't mean to upset anyone. Will Mother be upset with me? _

"Cicero is sure Mother understands, but Faith must make sure she is more careful in the future. Sweet Faith must watch her words when we are not at Home. After all, one never knows when someone unexpected might be listening. She should also watch what she says about the Listener since Cicero is cautioning his Sweetness. Even around those he once knew, perhaps Faith should not speak of who he once was or has become?" He lifted my hand in his, the fingers of his other hand trailing slowly over the lines of my palm as he shifted his gaze between my eyes and his movements.

Eyes wide, I tried to quiet the chaos in my mind as understanding slowly came to me. Oh... Oh, what had I done when I had spoken so freely among them, simply because I had been upset at Bryn for his casual words about my brother? No, no, I would need to be much more careful with my words and perhaps speak to Bryn about keeping their knowledge of who Destin was quiet. Or at least, as quiet as they could.

Hopefully, it wasn't too late to stop it from spreading beyond that group.

* * *

"Faith, sweetness, we are almost Home. It will be okay, Cicero is sure of it. His heart need not look so grim, he's sure she will be forgiven if Mother is at all upset. He will go with her and she can ask Mother for forgiveness if the Listener says Faith should do so. But Cicero is sure Mother will understand that sweet Faith did not mean anything. Please, let Cicero see a smile? He misses it so much, that lovely smile. Can I see you smile, my love? Please?"

* * *

Pushing the plate of half-eaten food away from me, I leaned over the table, head dropping to rest against my arms. I'd spent nearly an hour kneeling before Mother, asking for her forgiveness for the mistakes I had made. I don't know why she hadn't sent me away from her Family, cast me out or worse for the things I had said and done without a thought to what could come of it. Bastian had told me I was forgiven, but I don't know how Mother could forgive me so easily. No, I would need to work hard to make up for my errors.

Maybe... maybe if I completed a contract, sending a soul to Sithis... Maybe then, I would be able to forgive myself. And help ensure I was still able to remain at my Cicero's side for a little longer. Perhaps I could prove to myself that I deserved to remain at his side.

Picturing the sad look that had been in his eyes as he stayed behind to take care of Mother, I squeezed my eyes shut. I never wanted to be the cause of such a look again, not from my Cicero, my sweet Jester Assassin. No, I had to make sure I would never hurt him again. Even if I had to do something I hated. After all, hadn't I already made the decision of how far I would go for him? Hadn't I told Bastian?

_ I would bath the world in blood, if it would keep me at your side, my beloved Cicero. _

I pressed my face harder into my arms as I felt a gentle hand run up and down my back, Amicus far quieter than usual since we had left the cabin behind with our Siblings to watch over the one who would join our ranks. Did even Amicus feel disappointed in me? What would I have to do to make it up to so many people, to fix what I had nearly ruined?

_ How much blood would I have to shed before it was enough? _

* * *

I stood at the top of the stairs, unable to move any further as I listened to the voices coming from below. I'd wondered where Amicus had gone, thinking perhaps he had left to talk to Ellery, but that was not Ellery's voice I heard speaking to him. No, Ellery's voice was not so deep, so hauntingly dark and rich as this man's voice. I'd heard it before, though, yes. From an assassin long dead, brought back to protect our Listener whenever he was needed.

_ "You trust her far too much, expecting her to make choices that are best for the Brotherhood, even though it is her brother who is the Listener." _

_ "I do not expect her to lead this Family. No, I understand who the Listener is. I simply follow where she goes, as I always have and always will. I am tied to her, as you of all people should understand. I don't see why that is an issue now after all that has happened." _

_ "She wished to bring an outsider into the Sanctuary and it was only the Keeper's words that stopped her. She would have broken a tenet if she hadn't listened to him. My question is... why did  _ you  _ not try to stop her? Why have you not spoken to her, taught her the rules of this Family, and made sure she understood them? Lived by them, even before she came here. She claims to be one of us and has been accepted into the ranks of the Brotherhood and yet she would slip so easily and bring the wrath of Sithis upon herself? Possibly upon others, as well?" _

_ "I tried once, but he steals the memories from her. You can't blame her for that. As much as she has healed from her past by being around those who she calls her treasures, even from having her brother returned to her, she is still broken. He still has her-" _

_ "Stop making excuses for her! You have the soul of a killer within you, just as you have blood on your hands. You were and still are an assassin, ready to kill in the name of our Dread Father, so answer me this. Do you serve the Dread Father? Or do you serve that woman?" _


	10. It's Secrets

Just as I was ready to turn and run back to the room I shared with my Cicero, I was carefully moved to the side as Ellery passed by me on his way down the stairs. I barely saw the look on his face before he was gone again, down and out of sight as he entered the main room of this Sanctuary, his voice echoing against the high ceiling.

"Oh, are we plotting against our Juniper now? Against Mother's wishes? You should know that it is not your place to question her choices and she herself has chosen to allow our Juniper to remain within this 'Family' of yours. Last I heard, she has forgiven Juniper for her mistakes," I heard Ellery say as he nearly shouted at the two speaking below.

Although I was thankful that he spoke up for me, I was still about to turn away when I heard a grunt of pain from below, followed by a shout and then words that turned my blood cold as I began rushing down the stairs.

**"You will show respect when you are speaking to me, boy. I was a Speaker in my life and in death, I serve the Listener. You would do well to remember that you barely even qualify as an initiate in this Family. If I must show you how little you matter to me for you to learn your place, then so be it,"** that deep but chilling voice echoed through the chamber as I finally made it to the bottom of the stairs.

Seeing Ellery kneeling on the floor in pain, a dagger beside him covered in his blood as he held his hands to his side, I would have screamed if I'd but had the voice to. In a swift move, Amicus darted down and snagged the dagger, shoving it up into the man's rubs as he whispered harshly to the specter,  _ "He might be barely an initiate, but he is Faith's and for what you have done, I will send you to the Void a hundred times over for every tear she sheds over this." _

"Faith, what's wrong with me?" a voice gasped out, pain twisted into each word. "It hurts but... I... What am I, Faith? What is this?"

Looking at him, my eyes wide in shock, I gasped as I saw him pull his hands away from his side. It was no vivid red that covered his hands, spilled down his side... No, instead of the familiar color that had once coated his jester's cap, it was an almost shimmering ghostly blue that matched the pool of blue where Lucien had once stood.

_ Ellery? But... you're alive again! Everyone can see you, can touch you! I... I don't understand! _

I stood there for a moment before I dropped to my knees beside him and reached out, gently pulling his motley away from his side after ripping the sleeve from my shirt and began using it to wipe at the blue... blood that coated his skin. Somehow the wound had already begun sealing shut, leaving a ragged but shallow cut down his side. Looking up into his eyes, I saw my own worry reflected back at me.

"What did  _ he  _ do to me, Faith? This wasn't what I agreed to, what  _ we  _ agreed to. What did he do to me? What has he done to  _ us _ ?" Ellery's voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the sound of my own heart beating in my chest, the sound rushing through my head in waves until it was too much and I collapsed into darkness.


	11. The Unexpected

"Well, well, Juni. It looks like you have returned! Is it time for some more fun? To enjoy another moment together, perhaps? Oh-ho! But not one that you would remember, no! You weren't there for this one, even though it was you who put it into motion," a familiar voice spoke from beside me as I looked around a vaguely familiar room.

Looking to the side, I saw the man standing there, his red and purple clothing bright in the shadows of the room. Instead of focusing on him, I began looking around, taking in the mess that seemed to cover so much of the room. Pieces of paper with notes scrawled across the surface as if the writer was in a hurry to put down their thoughts before they vanished. Bits of fabric and dirty clothing piled in a corner, the colors difficult to figure out in the darkened room.

It was when I turned to spot a bed that everything came together to paint an image almost lost to time. This was someplace I hadn't seen since I'd been in Cyrodiil, not since me and Ellery had been... together. Because there, laying on the bed, was Ellery. His motley was in disarray, his cap held in his hands as he slept, and his hair... Oh, I'd forgotten his hair was like that once, a few curls still not quite as limp as the rest of his untended hair.

I'd forgotten he used to have such nice curls to his hair, having gotten used to seeing him with hair that was little more than a mess of limp hair going in every direction. Reaching out, I tried to touch one of the remaining curls, wondering what had happened to it, but my hand passed through him like he wasn't there. Or like I wasn't...

 _Why are we here?_ I asked, my hand trembling as I recalled the last time I had been in a memory. For surely this was a memory. But who's? Ellery slept, so surely not his. So who? Who was watching my Ellery sleep?

Before the man could answer, the window behind me slowly slid open and I turned at the sound, watching as a dark figure climbing inside. A hood protected his identity from being discovered, a mask covering the lower half of his face where the hood's shadows would not be enough to hide his features. Without even a whisper, he moved toward the bed where my Jester slept.

A soft whisper filled the air as he pounced, a hand covering Ellery's mouth as the... assassin... straddled the Jester. "Someone was naughty and now they shall pay the price for their deeds. And since this is the... last contract I am allowed... I shall have to make sure to enjoy myself. Hope you don't mind~."

A feeling of dread built within me as I turned to Sheogorath with tears already starting to run down my cheeks. _No! I don't want to see this! Not this! Please! Please don't make me watch this! Please!_

With a sinister grin on his face, he reached down and rested a hand on my shoulder. "Now, now, Juni-Bug. If you don't experience it now, then when? At some point, you need to see what happened. After all, that was part of our... deal."

With his mad laughter in the background, I turned with wide eyes toward the bed as I heard a muffled scream, although that too turned into laughter in time. The sound was desperate and broken, filling the room between grunts of pain and the occasional whispered words from the assassin. Until, finally, Ellery had laughed his last and all that was left was a brittle silence as the assassin slipped from the room, bloodied cap in his hands.

The brittle silence and my own voiceless cries as I felt my heart break all over again at what I had done.

"Don't worry Juni, he's died once already. He's tasted death and death spat him back out. He won't leave you again. After all, you're all bound together now," came that wretched voice again, fingers suddenly lifting a lock of my hair as a curious hum was heard before he spoke again. "What an interesting color this is. I didn't think about this happening, but then, this isn't something I've done before! I wonder what other fun little things might happen between now and then! I hardly feel bored at all, Juni-Bug! What a shame your fools are trying to interrupt us! Oh well, there's always next time!"

With a harsh laugh, he began to fade into the background before it, too, became even darker than before, the bloodied body on the bed finally vanishing from my tearful sight. I didn't want a next time! I didn't want to see another horrid memory that wasn't even mine! I didn't... didn't... But for what I'd done, maybe it was what I deserved.

Slowly closing my eyes, I felt as if the world suddenly became heavier and struggled to open them again. When at last my eyes looked upon the world again, there was no bloodied body before me in a darkened room. Instead, my Cicero's face was before me as he leaned over me in the bed I was lying upon. Reaching a hand up, I wiped the tears that still flowed from my eyes.

"It's okay, Faith. I'm okay. I was just... not expecting that. I didn't mean for you to... Please, don't be sad for me. You've spent enough time crying for me. I don't want you to cry over me anymore, so please... please smile, Juniper?" Ellery's voice said softly from behind Cicero as I looked over his shoulder, seeing those familiar blue eyes looking back at me. "Even if it's not what I was expecting, what I was hoping for, I'm just glad to be... alive again. And that you're back home safely. Thank you for coming back."

"Faith needs to eat now," my Cicero said in a tight voice before he reached out and grabbed a bowl from the nearby table. Lifting the spoon of broth, he brought it closer to my lips, bringing back a memory of another time when he'd fed me in a similar manner. Smiling at him, I sipped at the liquid.

And the dream faded back to the dark reaches in the back of my mind. It could be dealt with later, just like everyone in the room, myself included, ignored the strand of blue-tinted hair as Cicero brushed it out of my face. Even if his eyes did linger worriedly on it before he finally looked away, focusing on the broth once more. It could be dealt with later.


End file.
